Friday, July 13, 2012

Changes

Changes. So many changes. I looked back at my first post on this blog (I can't believe it was 16 months ago!) and saw how much things have changed since then. I am now planning to go to college. I am now legally, "officially" an adult. I have graduated from homeschool highschool. These are good things. It's nice to be finished with highschool. It's nice to look forward to college. It's nice to be given more opportunities as an adult (such as being able to serve onboard the Logos Hope).

But it's hard, too. And opportunities that are open only to children and teens have closed. And I wonder how I'll pay for college. And I get frustrated at the amount of rejections I get (both to my freelance submissions and job applications).

I feel like time is flying by so much faster than it did during my childhood. Like weeks and months and years are quickly slipping away. And sometimes...sometimes I think about how blissful it would be to be a little kid again. 

To play for hours without worrying about getting things done. To hug stuffed animals and talk to them and not think it silly. To imagine lives for my little dolls. To get lost in amazing books and not have to set them down to take care of stuff. To actually think that getting bored was a possibility. To not notice if my hair was tangled and my clothes didn't match. To feel like waiting two weeks for a birthday party was "forever".

But I can't slow down time. I can't relive it, either.

There are so many decisions to make. So many life-changing choices and changes. Where to go to college? Where to apply for a job (um, in this economy, pretty much everywhere, right :)?)? How to occupy my time during the wait before college (especially since I don't have a full-time job yet)? It's easy to eagerly dream about the future and nostalgically remember the past. But seizing the moment and enjoying the present...why is that so hard sometimes?

May we all seize each day for the glory of God! 

3 comments:

  1. Allysa-

    Thnx so much for becoming my first follower! It means a lot! I'm now following ur blog too, and I really like it.

    I can totally relate to this post... I know that seems weird coming from a twelve year old.... I'm probably only filled with like half the stress you are, but still, it's more than I used to. I feel like I'm letting my time as a kid fly by to fast.... It scares me.......

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  2. I have the same problem with looking only ahead or behind, instead of trusting God to work all things together. It is easy to think you are alone, but success in accepting the present will only come from Him. (preaching to self)

    Jason Ross

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  3. Oh yes. I totally understand. My childhood is gone and I'm pretty much all grown up. Hope you have lots of adventures. Growing up is so exciting yet at the same time it is scary.

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